Crawler Courageous jumped to his feet. “Looks like it’s settled. We’re all one big happy family.”
“You are not our family,” the spokespigeon firmly stated.
“If the love of my life, Carol is with you then so am I. We’re a package deal.”
Cornelius turned in his chair, his elbow accidentally hitting over his notepad. “Carol, do you mind picking that up for me?” I bent over to get the pad, in large letters, all underlined, it said, provoke him to hit you. Quietly, under his breath, “trust me.” Cornelius pleaded.
I took a second to compose myself. “Earl, you know how picky pigeons can be with their human companions.”
“Quit playing around Carol. What’s it matter anyways? I’m obviously going with you whether I’m in the party or not. Put on your ring.”
Ivan was spinning in his office chair staring at the ceiling. Bored. Not paying attention. The pigeons were huddled together conversing amongst themselves for the optics more than anything else considering they now shared a mind. Even though I feel like pigeons were already a hivemind before the alien invasion. They’re new loot box popped up behind them.
“You don’t need us. I’m sure you’ll be fine out there.”
“I know I will. YOU need me.”
“That’s not how the pigeons see it.”
“Pigeon,” the spokespigeon corrected. “Carol, dear. What’s an armadillo?”
“It’s a critter that crawls around and curls up in a ball when scared.”
“Ah, I see. The fat pigeon’s feathers grew darker. When it wrapped its wings around itself spikes popped out all over its body. Another pigeon’s left wing shone with a metallic luster.
“Coo,” they said in unison.
“You see, Earl…”
“It’s Crawler Courageous now,” He butt in.
“Earl. There’s no need to worry about us.”
“Who’s worrying?”
I strode to his side of the table. “I was hoping you would take the hint.” I was standing next to him looking straight into his eyes. “We plan to survive for a long while. We don’t have any spare room for a loser.”
“Fuck off, Carol.”
I put a pitying hand on his shoulder. “How long did you work on that sales deal? Years. And now it means nothing.” He tried to remove my hand; I gave him a couple condescending pats. “Your one accomplishment in life and it’s already down the drain. We don’t have space for losers.”
“Get off me!” he pushed me hard enough that I fell to the floor.
Bruised butt, looking up, his hands were still outstretched, unmoving. The rage was frozen on his face. His true face. The one the dungeon seeks to reveal. Ivan quit spinning, tuned in, laughed in amusement, “frozen like a dumb mime. Will he feel this?” Ivan threw his chair hitting Earl in the back before it rattled a couple feet away on the floor. Ivan was now frozen.
“Ugh, idiot.” Cornelius said. “You only have so much time before he unfreezes. Run, get a head start.”
“What about Ivan?”
“He’ll have to come find you. Go.”
“Can they hear us?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll never see me again.”
“Uh oh,” Cornelius said.
“Uh oh?”
“You don’t know how narrative works do you? That’ll be on the highlight reel alright. Some ole fashioned foreshadowing.”
“What are you talking about.”
“Run!”
The pigeons were already at the door raring to go.