Grinning directly at me, Crawler Courageous slipped on his ring. Holding up my ring so he could see, I mentally stashed it in my inventory like Cornelius showed us. It disappeared from my hand.
The pigeons stared impassively. Cocking their heads to the right when I ‘pocketed’ the wedding band.
One pigeon walked forward, the others stayed where they were. Looking up at me, “thank you, you gave me the biscuit,” he said. “I am in your debt.”
“Well, if I’m being honest, I didn’t know it would do that. I’m glad you’ve achieved sentience though.”
“Sentience?”
“Yeah, you know. The ability to talk and critically think.”
“There must be some confusion. We apologize. We’re not thanking you for sentience. We’re thanking you for the biscuit.”
“I feel like giving pigeons a biscuit is the least important event that has occurred today.”
“Is what you call sentience not the reason for this dungeon? The reason most of your species is now extinct. It doesn’t seem like uplifting is all you make it out to be.” A pause. “The AI just said ‘amen’ in our heads and gave us a, we’re all doomed so why not enjoy ourselves while we can box.”
New achievement! A friend of my friend is my friend too.
You know those pigeon guys too! We have so much in common. Looks like we’re forming quite the get-along-gang.
Reward: FRIENDS would have been better without Ross Go Pivot Somewhere Else Loot Box.
Cornelius made eye contact with me then looked down at his legal pad. Then did it again not too subtly. “You can form official parties with other crawlers. I suggest you work with the pigeons.”
“Pigeon,” said the spokesperson. “Not pigeons anymore. We are one.”
“Fine. Pigeon.”
“Alas, dear Carol,” said the spokespigeon. “Can I call you Carol? Carol, it’s not you, it’s us. You see, us pigeons are an independent lot. While we appreciate all you humans building cities for our sole convenience we are a tight knit group. Wary, we take hairless monkeys under our wing very seldomly.”
“I thought you said you were in my debt.”
“A riposte! Very well. We will kill one enemy of your choosing. Him perhaps?” The pigeons pointed at Courageous with its left wing as they all stared daggers. Earl let out a condescending chuckle.
I looked at Cornelius, he sipped his tea, then nodded towards the pigeon to get me to continue. “Considering we’ll be fighting monsters out there wouldn’t you want at least one friend with opposable thumbs?”
“Thumbs! Ha! The meager tool of the wayward hitchhiker! I’m sure you’re familiar with our cousin, the dove? Your symbol of peace. Less known to humans, or rather ignorantly overlooked, pigeons are the symbol of war.”
“Since when…”
“Since our humble beginnings in the fertile crescent. You think it mere coincidence human civilization began under our watchful eye?” In unison, the pigeons puffed out their chests. “Who do you think taught you the ways of war.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Alas, humans are such slow learners. Only incorporating air warfare in the last century. A shame really. So much potential…”
Cornelius rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Carol, have you never had a conversation with a pigeon before?”
“Why would I ever have a conversation with a pigeon?”
“Ha! Cornelius, my friend! Do you hear the words out of her mouth?” The pigeons laughed in unison. A creepy fast paced cooing like a revving motor being suffocated by a pillow. “Dear Carol, the wisest of humans find us to be superb company. Have you never heard of Nikola Tesla or Michael Tyson? Mike to his friends.”
“Those two people don’t belong in the same sentence.”
“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face,” Ivan chimed in.
“Wise words indeed, our friend Ivan!
“Hehe, the plucky little pigeons sent me a party invite.”
“What the hell!”
“Jesus, Carol! Know your audience.” Cornelius said. Looking at the pigeons. “She has hundreds more biscuits, pigeon.”
You’ve received a party invite